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Two Fingers Of Red Eye Please


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I often have a date with Mr P Grigio. He’s cool and strong and visits me regularly. Oh, we have such fun together.

He’s enormously good company and has been a constant companion through many a crisis, being completely relied upon to provide just the perfect level of support when needed.  Even on the most difficult of journeys he has been right by my side.

At the end of last year I was suffering terribly with a broken tooth and, being absolutely fastidious about my teeth, have never experienced discomfort like it before. Despite so many visits to my dentist that suspicions were raised about us having an affair, the pain persisted.

In search of relief, I took a metaphorical wagon train to Tombstone to find Doc Holliday and, hopefully, solace in two fingers of Red Eye. I did in fact find relief, but it was actually Mr Grigio in disguise…he came to my rescue again.


This month, however, I decided that it was time for my beloved Mr P Grigio and I to take a break. In the name of charity, I resisted him and completed a ‘dry January’ without answering even one of his calls, no matter how persistent he became.

Prefering not to cajole my friends and social media followers into sponsoring my efforts, I threw down the gauntlet to myself and decided to donate to charity if I could resist the urge for a night with my companion.

Having successfully completed my mission, I have given the money I saved from not drinking to CORE, the national UK charity that funds research into diseases of the gut, liver and pancreas. Not only was this an appropriate organisation, but also a cause close to my heart having suffered Acute Pancreatitis many years ago after contracting a virus.

I would like to say that I didn’t miss Mr P Grigio, but that would be lying. In fact, he’s due round again in about five minutes…

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